Scripture says that God has chosen us “that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love” (Ephesians 1:4). In other words, we are made whole and holy by God’s love. How does this relate to relationships?
The Greek word for blame, amomos, means to be without blame, fault or spot. To blame means to hold somebody at fault, pronounce a judgment of being unclean or guilty of a fault. It creates an atmosphere of strife and contention. It stains the individual and the relationship. A habit of blaming others will ultimately result in the loss of relationships. Nobody wants to be the next victim or subject of gossip. Worse though, it creates a fracture in your own soul.
RELEVANCE
Why do we blame people? Usually it’s to express anger. Often times it’s to mask or excuse our own problems, faults or feelings of failure—protect self. Sad as it might sound it’s a form of self-gratification; although a sick one. Ultimately blame serves to justify self—which is pride. Playing the blame game says “life is all about me.” It deflects our own issues and places it on others. It’s divisive. In reality, it reveals areas needing inner healing; which takes facing a truth we may find painful to face.
What we often don’t see is that blaming others sets in motion all forms of adversity. Internally, it sears our conscience and grieves the Holy Spirit, causing depression and other emotional disturbances. In addition it blinds us to opportunities of love: to be loved and love others. Worst of all, it holds back the mercy of Christ, our true redeemer.
We see this in the story of Jonah. God had told him to go to the city ofNinevehand call the people to repent from their sinful ways and turn to God. Jonah in turn jumped on a boat and headed the other way. Why? He judged the people of Nineveh. They were ruthless enemies of his nation. God knew, though, that there were many innocent people there He wanted to bring into relationship with Him. So God caused a storm which ultimately brought Jonah to his own repentance. In his struggle with God he learned an important lesson: “Those who pay regard to false, useless, and worthless idols forsake their own [source of] mercy and loving-kindness” (Jonah 2:8 AMPLIFIED). Jonah’s own pride and wrong focus blinded him to the truth and seeing God’s heart and hand of mercy.
REFLECT AND RELATE
Who do you blame for your problems? What effects do you think it may have had on others or even yourself? Solomon came to much wisdom on the issue. Meditate on his proverbs to gain God’s perspective on the issue.
REFERENCES
Proverbs 10:12; 13:10; 15:18; 16:28; 17:19; 26:20-28; 28:25